Sometimes my thoughts come from strange places; in this case
it was at BWI airport waiting for an early morning flight. I was eating
breakfast and suddenly I was thinking about progress and change. This line of thinking was the fault of the
evil haas avocado, yes it is evil. We
will table that line of thought for a moment and go back to progress and
change. Cool words, they sound like positives, but
are they always. It seems so many times
we engage in progress for the sake of progress.
The first question has to be do we really need to change it, will we
make it better or just different. I have
found myself for the past few years drifting more and more towards “old school”
behavior and what can I say, I like it.
Some things are perfect the way they are, they don’t need to
change. Since this blog is about rants, tirades, and
other observations, here are a few examples of unneeded progress or
change.
1. Shaving razors, the world has gone from the straight razor
to the safety razor; this was good progress as you are less likely to open an
artery during the morning routine. Then
two, three, four, five and more blades came along. More
blades on a razor = better shave, bulls%&@. Unneeded progress. Then
there was the vibrating razor, perhaps for multi-tasking, wink wink nod
nod.
For the past two years I have been using a single blade
safety razor. This is the best shave of
my life, close and comfortable and frankly dirt cheap. It is not fancy, it does not shake or shimmy
it just cuts clean and close. There is
just no commercial of this razor running all over your face like a car. If you
want to learn more about this excellent shave see this post here on the Art of
Manliness. http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/01/04/how-to-shave-like-your-grandpa/
2. Turkey Bacon, what hell is this, bacon should be bacon, not
chopped, pressed, and formed turkey parts.
First of all real bacon is tasty and turkey bacon, well tastes like cat
butt flavored cardboard. Yes real bacon
has 160 more calories, but it has 500mg less sodium and 170mg more potassium
for those watching their blood pressure.
If you are one of those that say you like the taste of turkey bacon, you
are just agreeing with your wife to avoid a fight, sorry. Leave bacon alone, unneeded and unwanted
progress.
3. Making self-esteem more important than results is just
progress we do not need. As a society we
are trying to keep our kids from experiencing failure or loss since it may hurt
their feelings, I simply don’t care.
Life is about picking yourself up from failure, growing a set and doing
better. I am working on a complete post
to explore this topic more completely and I am sure it will probably be
offensive to some.
These are just a few thoughts, I have many more but that
would turn into a novel. Let me know
your ideas of progress we just don’t need.
I am hoping I am not alone in this train of thought, if I am we surely
are doomed.
Before I stop, let me finish up with the evil haas avocado. How was the evil haas avocado responsible for
this post? Back to the beginning it was
my usual morning flight out of BWI. I
decided to try a new place to grab a simple breakfast. Quickly looking at the menu, an order was
placed for bacon (real bacon) and egg breakfast wrap. I took my first bite and my unholy god there
was an avocado paste smeared all over the wrap, they added avocado to bacon and
egg, to quote South Park “You bastards”.
Suddenly my delicious breakfast turned into a tortilla
coated in a baby crap spread. So I
thought of avocados, they are the symbol of bad progress. Everywhere you go people are putting avocados
on food that is perfect the way it is:
burgers, club sandwiches, crab cakes, cob salads, pancakes, brownies
(why brownies). Don’t get me wrong I
like avocados, guacamole it just fine, but there is a limit. Don’t change food just to sound fancy or get
attention, leave my dammed brownie and breakfast wrap alone.
